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In an effort to infuse some British Culture into the Olympic Tradition, Tea Co. has been granted exclusive rights to replace Gatorade as the only source of hydration for athletes.
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According to derbier Hell's Puppy, it doesn't just take having a powerful set of vice-like thighs that could squish a man's head like roadkill, to make it successfully in the rugged world of roller derby anymore. It takes more, lots more. "Years ago, the girls on the track were just big panty wearing housewives. They did their training by lifting Bon-bons and chasing their

illegitimate 

children around. They'd show up at the track, don a helmet, and skate their way around like it was a flaming parade. Now, I'm kicking it up a notch", said the crazy eyed Puppy.
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AUCKLAND-  In the richest contract ever signed by a NBA free agent, superstar LeBron James has agreed to a five-year deal with the country of New Zealand, worth an estimated $250 million. He will be evenly splitting his time as a NZ Breakers power forward, All Blacks no. 8, All Whites midfielder and the Minister for Treaty of Waitangi Negotiations.
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A Mr. Whippy ice cream man was forcibly ejected from an international woman's beach volleyball tournament yesterday when he ran onto the court wearing only soft serve ice cream and sprinkles.
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WINTON, AU— Four-time Bathurst winner Greg Murphy, 38, surprised reporters at a pre-race press conference by saying his heart no longer belonged to V8 supercars. And that all he could think about was quitting the professional racing circuit and rejoining Top Gear Live.