AUCKLAND-- In a drunken and tearful admission at a post-season pissup, Auckland Blues cheerleader Sherri McLoud admitted that she didn't actually like rugby, and all of the smiling and cheering and flirting was just a painful act.

"I tried to watch the game but I don't understand what really goes on. Why are they always running around and falling over? And where the hell are all the cute guys, these bastards are all fat and their ears are icky. I only took this gig so I could accidently bump into Daniel Vittori. He's so hot and I heard he's single. But he never showed up. Maybe he only works here during the week."

"When Sally said Judy told Kendra about being a cheerleader I was like OMG, that sounds awesome. I imagined limos and champagne and glamourous parties. All we get is a BBQ at Rokocoko's place, and its bloody BYO"

Cheerleaders, known for making the kids excitable and Dads regret their life decisions, actually couldn't care less about the team or the fans, to them its just another day in costume.

"People always assume I'm concentrating on the game, but how can you concentrate on rugby when you have to kneel on grass and dirt. It takes all my mental strength just to remember to keep it sucked in," Sherri said. "Thank God the malls are open late on Thursdays or I might have had to kill someone."