LONDON-- Lawyers of ex-TV personality, party girl and racy yellow Teletubby Laa-Laa, have submitted a plea to British Courts seeking child support from the father of her new twins, John Terry.
 
Laa-Laa, weeping hysterically, said through a translator, "I was out on the town with Lindsay Lohan one night when John noticed me at Club One. He then sent over a bottle of Cristal. He thought I looked exotic. And even though I don't speak a word of human, he said he loved my voice. Turns out he was just shitty pissed. Then one thing led to another, and I woke up with his hand on my fuzzy-wuzzy ass. I was in shock so I ran to the chemist for the Morning After Pill, but they were closed."
 
Two months later Wenlock and Mandeville Tubby were born. Laa-Laa, said that she had to put her twin boys to work early as the 2012 Olympic Mascots to help out on the home front. 
 
Representatives for John Terry did not return phone calls, but an inside source stated Mr. Terry was totally distraught that his mating habits had become public. 
 
According to court records, Laa-Laa is seeking somewhere in the area of $350 billion. She said, "I think he owes it to me. I bore him two of the most unique offspring ever."